its not a phsard

Content

phsard.

I borrowed this sensation from a thought I used to know, resurrected its machine until it meant something, golden if it light that shone straight through, artificial afterlife , the one they make for you, our needy crumbled melancholy and jealous doubt no trust , there nothing in it. But somewhere you can brake, your always going to stumble when you cant walk while always you whisper when you cant talk… so instead of feeling, and shit like , I just ignite, light fire , burn through memories , after the other burn it white, cold you sleep awake tonight.. useless humans, shit in their own backyards, and now you have to live with it, sleep with it you fucking breath it. Stupid little humans use it burn it our supplies are endless, mindless to it to ash please, burn it melt it so I can sell it to you, stupid little humans, save none for their spouses , in rubbish now ash is where they will play in the blackened of lung, you poisoned your son, just take what is yours and burn it right now, set the night on fire little humans, burn oil, sometimes coal, smoke into the environment and we see the greenhouse is warming baby, but NEW WORLD ORDER? Not until two thirds of us die. Its what it will take, burn it if it burns sell it if it don’t.. how long do you expect it to be there… shit in your backyard smells nice now and you have to live with it silly humans…. Two thirds.

we all feel we have to make a mark of some sort in some way, if only to extend our residual existence past the moment of our death and onward. so here I am
scratching trying so hard to make an imprint but only marking the surface, the hope that these scratches will amount to the something’s we need to know we
are, its all lost when we open our doors to them and their world comes pouring in.. fragmented, the time jumps from now to then almost left behind you feel
you need to run just to keep up, and on days we do but its the days we dont that haunt me. its all just a matter of time, but what is time? just like pain we
are unable to remember time, we remember the events that took place and what time they happened but their length only comes down to what you remember
thinking at the time, like " fuck is this shit ever going to end?" in time my friend, in time". so what we are left with is a collage of memories with no
real sense of the time they took to take place. see its not like our sence of smell or sound, I mean you can smell something from your child hood and bang
its compared and lines up with that memory and you have an acute sence of the knowledge that this is the same smell, the same happens with sound, the song
starts and your brain starts its work "hey what is this I love this track, dont tell me ill get it" and you might but time is a dimension we have no sense
trained to observe and record its existance and after the years pass you by it would feel like the memories are just thrown in a stack and their order if any
would be based on the pleasure or pain they brought you. so its the color or rather the contrast between the colors, id like to say its all blacknwhite I
mean that would make it so much more arthouse but most of us are infected by that spectrum that sets the scene for our mood to take its place. so this
fucking time seems to be the missing element as things build up they seem to speed up until it hits a creshendo, peaking out the overflow nearly take me with
it, know what im talking about>? I really dont think so but lets just pretend you do.. so .. and so... ya click a second lost you will never get that second
back... im sure of this id bet my life (laugh,,, life... fuckin dont make me laugh) click I was sure I saw you and you me but the crowd so dence who could be
sure? hello , and to quote , is there anybody out there? alone in the crowd ive said it so many times but it really puts you here.. if I could turn the light
on I would but for that id need to be able to see the switch so ill leave it to you, and I hope you do.

peopliehate

I take my form from a childhood hero, robust in his entirety he was the unstoppable, well when he was on drugs anyways and maybe that’s how I feel when I am too, untouchable beyond this world, im up above it when its in my veins pumping through my blood, toxified by its power. But what was he on? The old question comes back and back again, what the fuck was roger ramjet on>? A drug addict by an measurement he was one of the first out in the open here I am drug addicts, and when I say “drug addict” I mean it in the sense that hes a habitual user making sure he has his fix daily. Sometimes in excess as I remember one episode where he ate three maybe four of those pills in less then half an hour and I remember thinking “careful roger you’ll wind up OD’d” but roger was strong and handled, heavy users can do this but as I was a kid I didn’t know this like I do now. I used to worry a little that maybe the drugs were making him aggressive, maybe a little edgy, I mean there he would be somewhat relaxed while focused a normal day so to say then bang Rog takes drugs and wham bam thankyou mam he beat someone up again. Im sure if he was to maybe see a councilor that might suggest roger take himself down to rehab for a few months and get off the gear otherwise his demise is imminent, one of these days he’s going to pick on the wrong guy in his drugged blur and they are going to fuck him up. I worry for roger I really did.. 33

Godlovescience

One reason two lie, three times four what comes after five, six seconds of silence before 7 days of nothing, you eight shit and listend to nine,

Did it change a thing
When it finally sunk in
And you realized
It was all for nothing
You were the only one
Who thought it was something

If its not broken I can fix that

If there was an exit I missed it and now im locked on the highway to hell wishing for a stairway to heaven.

“Planes, trains, broken hearts and shattering glass.” I curled into a ball and rolled down into the valley of death, dried out, became the dust tha
t drifted away, woke up and did it all again.

and although sweet the taste was forever evenesce, fleeting, failing in the ephemoral spiral that all was born from to die for and the lies never seem
to make the truth sound any better, we are going to get there when we arive
and theres nothing inbetween that could ever curb this transition from the content to distorted disposition. smile if it amuses you, cry if its what you need to but know that corners turn it all around the small circles

drink, drunk walking now falling, oops don’t trip, too late you did now get up but your still falling as you finish the next drink and its all starts drifting by. Standing on the street signs im killing it everyday, sleeping in broken glass, covering the cracks with pictures, im not sure I like this, im not sure its fun anymore, im not sure where I want this to go, maybe I don’t. if it wasn’t fixed I broke it, if it could come apart I smashed it, if they got in my way I moved them, if I stood a chance before, theres no way after, theres no way back there. Everyday just provides a new platform for me to jump off and spend the rest of the day falling away and now were dinking again, that can never be good forever misunderstood, trampled underfoot I wish there was something else to do. If you were trying to give me a look im not so sure I would have noticed, and forever took ten seconds where the time was spent, bent relentless ever so restless, insistent on distance between them and me I don’t want to talk about, know I don’t need to talk about and if you try to ill just lock you out. You can see where ive been from the burning trail behind me ,forever the flames following. And I don’t sound proud because its all just stupid now and more every minute I respect less, care less, want less, know less, try less and less is more and more and less I want more. Lest not riddle it all, if I had something to say don’t you think I just could without the layers, no I don’t think so , decode me pic me to bits brake the broken shit and smash me apart just for the fuck of it, but its always again and it bores me to death, that’s really how I feel and maybe its for the best. I wish you could read this before but if your reading it’s the after and all I can say is thank fuck. Theres nothing left for me to prove as much as there is to loose im truly careless. Recently ive done so much that previously would have made me think, maybe worry or a little regret maybe just one care but on these days nothing can effect me nothihg can change me, so blunted unchangeable im broken ,now leaving and none of this shits coming with me so, why would I care.